I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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