Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
