just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
