Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
