im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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