Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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