If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
