I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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