Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
