There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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