Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
