I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think my nap took me to another dimension
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
tell me about the eggs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
