There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
