i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
