oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize