Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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