You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
