glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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