...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
