Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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