just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
