First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
