playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
