dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
