I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
