the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You dont lie about slip and slides
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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