Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
