Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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