Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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