He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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