Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He? As in you personified your dick?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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