You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
