Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
