atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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