I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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