where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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