she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize