You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize