just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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