I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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