i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
