school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
