i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
