operation harelip BJ is a go
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
