Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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