So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
