My liver just broke up with me...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize