Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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