hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
