If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
