then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
