Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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