Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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