everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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