So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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