Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
