just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
