Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
