In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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