Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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