Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
