1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom