I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
