This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
